Conduits of Healing

I'm still thinking a lot about last night. J described the evening as more of a "ritual" than an "event" and I think that is absolutely true. Being present there made me think of my mom's fight with cancer on what would have been her birthday yesterday. In addition to still feeling my way around having lost both of my parents to terrible diseases in a two year period I have also been dealing with a confusing and stressful situation that has being chipping away at my peace of mind for several months and has no doubt contributed to the return of my rosacea. Last night brought with it a bit of clarity around the question of what constitutes a true healing environment and who can be considered a healer. It widened my perspective.

Oddly, J and I both came home last night feeling terribly sick, which is why I was sitting up in bed typing a blog post (and sipping a hot infusion of raw ginger) past 2am. Had we both eaten I could have blamed indigestion, but J didn't sample the wonderful food. Had we both imbibed I could have blamed the alcohol, but I did not drink. Had we both gone snowboarding yesterday I could have blamed over-exertion, but I sat at my computer for most of the day, working. J thinks that when you open yourself fully to being with someone who is sick you take on a little of their sickness yourself, even temporarily. And if we are indeed all one, this transference of both sickness and health energetically makes perfect sense. The concept of healing by prayer is based on this concept, is it not?

In fact I'm going to go so far as to say that I believe the root of all healing is intention - the intention of the healer combined with the intention of the patient to co-create better health. I'm beginning to sense that all the degrees and experience in the world won't make someone a healer in the truest sense of the word if that person's intention is distracted by profit or personal recognition. In other words, if that person's ego (or what in Ayurveda would be called the "Ahamkara" the "I-former") is energetically siphoning healing power away from the patient and feeding itself instead. And unless controlled, our egos are ravenous. They desperately want to cling to the familiar, that which makes "me" feel like "me," that which creates boundaries in consciousness by separating us into individuals.

One of the Ayurvedic sutras I'm studying states,

avrttir vyadhih sokarttan anuvarteta saktitah,
atmavat satatam pasyed api kita pipilikam

"To the best of one's capacity, one should always help those who are poor, diseased, afflicted with grief, or helpless. Even insects and ants should be treated/viewed as one's own self."

Yes. If as a healer we can recognize ourself in the lowliest ant, imagine the respect and healing intention we can bring to another human being? To heal with intention begins with healing one's own sense of separateness from the rest of the world. The practice of true medicine begins with the practice of non-harm.

I don't know what most of the people in attendance last night studied in college or do for their "day jobs" but I found myself for several hours in the presence of healers and surrounded by sincere unSELFishness. Musicians and dancers and friends alike became conduits of healing through the power of their intention, and that power wasn't diverted by thoughts of monetary gain or self-promotion. It reminded me that studying Ayurveda is about far more than holing up in my house with textbooks, but also about learning to be fully present and unselfish in the world.