In the Sky. The Last Sunset of 2011.

Thank you all for the comments and condolences you left on my post about my dad's passing. A week has gone by already and while there's a certain peace and acceptance in my heart that I'm grateful for, it shares space with a great amount of grief. My dad's life was relatively simple perhaps, but he seemed to enjoy it immensely and as I went through my photo albums searching for his face, I realized that he wore a smile in every one of them.

In losing my dad I think J and I are both feeling, among other more personal losses, the loss of our connection to the traditional (and disappearing) New England French Canadian culture that he epitomized. This was always the aspect of my lineage I felt the most connected to. In fact, my brother chose this French song, J'irai la voir un jour for the communion meditation at the funeral, and though the words descended from the choir loft like tears, I had to give the eulogy immediately following it and blocked out its beauty at the time.

But when I hear it now you might as well stab a knife in my heart. 

In English:

I'll see her one day
In the Sky, in the Garden
Yes I will see Mary
My joy and my love

In the Sky, in the Sky, in the Sky
I'll see her one day

I'll see her one day
I'll join the angels
To sing her praises
And form her court

I'll see her one day
This so beautiful Virgin
Soon I'll be near her
To say my love

In the Sky, in the Sky, in the Sky
I'll see her one day

I'll see her one day
I'll go near her tomb
To welcome the dove
For the eternal stay

I'll see her one day
I'll go away from earth
To the heart of my mother
To rest with no return

In the Sky, in the Sky, in the Sky
I'll see her one day

I'll see her one day.

Gerry Jolicoeur: October 15, 1931 - December 24, 2011

My dad's strong and beautiful spirit left his body on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, with my new sister-in-law Grace at his bedside, ten minutes after receiving the Catholic sacrament of last rights. Was it my mom who came to guide him away from his failing physical body as his brain and lungs forgot their common language? Has he been reunited with his brothers and sisters and his own beloved parents on this sacred weekend? Was it his spirit I heard walking beside me, rustling the leaves as I hiked through the sunlit woods on Saturday, still unaware that he was gone from this place?

J and I were to visit him today, for Christmas. The universe had other plans.

Dementia stole so much from my father, but in the end it could not take his integrity, his deep faith, his polite and gentle nature, his quick smile, or his love for his family. His brain may have forgotten how to keep his physical body alive, and couldn't always remember our names, but his heart still recognized my brother and Grace, J and myself — recognized the bond of our love.

My mom and dad, both gone, so deeply missed. It's more important than ever now to stay in the present, lest the past break my heart.

I thank God for my practice and for the generous gifts the universe has given to me over the course of the past two years, gifts of faith and reassurance, the gift of teachers and friends, the blessing of saints,  a new way of looking at things that helps to make some sense of this fragile, painful, beautiful, sacred experience we call life.

Akal, dad. May your soul go swiftly to the creator. Thanks for the memories.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays...

...dear readers. May love & light surround you.

The Return of the Light

asato ma sadgamaya

tamaso ma jyotirgamaya
mrtyorma amrtam gamaya

From ignorance lead me to truth.
From darkness lead me to light.
From death lead me to immortality.

(Brhadaranyaka Upanishad — I.iii.28)

There was no pushing and striving on this solstice, no 54 Sun Salutations.
Instead a simple acknowledgement, inspired by the ever-changing and always entertaining play of life: my path this coming year is going to continue to be towards the light, and when shadows fall across it (as they inevitably will) I will be a light to myself in order to find my way. I will not settle for a substitute. I will not allow the distraction of others to distract me.

Happy return of the light.

May the long time sun shine upon you. All love surround you. And the pure light within you guide your way on....

We Now Interupt Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

I've been so busy this week I've forgotten to let you know about the gigantic online sale happening now (tomorrow is the last day!) at the Apothecary's online store.

Today most items are 25% off, and tomorrow they'll be 30% off.

My advice: go for the Chocolate Mint Raw Honey. It's delicious, and makes a great stocking stuffer. Loving Cup tea is also an unusual blend and excellent made with milk and finished off with honey and a bit of ghee. Ginger Elixir? Yum. Lavender infused oil? Ahhh. Wild-crafted Eastern Hemlock or Black Spruce hydrosol sprays? Like having the New England forest in a bottle.


Enjoy!

Hope

 

Nature's Ice Sculptures

My long letter to the local land trust is 99% finished, compiled and composed on Friday morning after a peaceful hike through the field and along the river across the street, the land in question (also where I took these photos today).

Since the spraying of Roundup probably won't begin until spring anyway, I may hold off until after the 1st of the year to deliver it — more for the sake of my own pre-holiday sanity than for any other reason.

I love to see what nature's done with the cold and the bits of ice forming along the rivers and punching their way through the soil like glassy mushrooms.

It's getting colder and colder here — and almost time for the winter solstice.

How far away do I need to go to get away from it all?

This morning we found out that the land trust who owns the pristine and in some sections old-growth forest across the street has deployed a forestry company who will soon begin spraying Round Up on the invasive Garlic Mustard directly across from our driveway and cutting down trees in select patches of the land in order to "encourage woodcock breeding grounds."

The irony is, the woodcock are already there, fluttering into the night sky during the summer with their unmistakable mating calls, and the land trust has even erected an informational sign in the middle of the field to state this fact, along with more signs in the woods to point out how pristine it is (well, was). I don't understand how bringing chainsaws and skidders into what's been an untouched habitat for decades is going to improve the habitat, at least in the short term.

The other irony is that Garlic Mustard is a delicious and highly nutrative food, originally brought to North America in the 1860's by Europeans accustomed to growing it as a culinary pot herb. Garlic mustard is full of vitamins and minerals (vitamins A, C, E and some of the B vitamins, potassium, calcium, magnesium, copper, iron and magnese) and (more uncommonly) used medicincally. The leaves (especially in early spring) can be chopped up and used in salads, sauteed, steamed or used in pesto (as I do, here). The roots, which taste similar to horseradish, can be harvested in fall and utilized in spicy condiments. The prolific  seeds can be harvested and used as a spice in cooking and in specific recipes — like this wild mustard seed mayonnaise.

I understand the invasive nature of this non-native species (though I have read that our own native Jewel Weed, another medicinal, outranks it in terms of invasiveness) but I'm becoming fed up with "improvements" that aren't actually improving anything and in some cases making matters worse.

Just for starters, Roundup is known to be fatal to amphibians (who breed and often live our their entire life cycle in the shallow puddles of former agricultural fields such as the one across the street) and this particular issue is currently under review in Canada and with the EPA. According to this 52 page Earth Open Source document, scientific research published in 2010 showed that Roundup and the chemical on which it is based, glyphosate, cause birth defects in frog and chicken embryos at dilutions much lower than those used in agricultural and garden spraying. The study also noted these malformations were similar to human birth defects found in genetically modified soy-producing regions.

Even more frightening, according to the Organic Consumers Association, "a recent study by eminent oncologists Dr. Leonard Hardell and Dr. Mikael Eriksson of Sweden, has revealed clear links between...glyphosate (commonly known as Roundup, marketed by Monsanto), to non-Hodgkins lymphoma, a form of cancer." and studies at the Women’s Cancer Resource Center have shown "that chemicals such as Round-Up can result in reproductive damage as well as damage to the kidney and liver, and some studies show a link between the chemical and cancer."

When I bought my property — 40 minutes away from the nearest shopping center — I traded convenience and community for the pastoral beauty of the surrounding fields and forests, for the "away from it all" feeling I got when I turned into my driveway. The looming reality of toxic chemicals and chainsaws and skidders isn't sitting well with me, to say the least.

One more thing — according to an article in the July 2000 issue of Organic Gardening, "independent scientific studies have shown that Roundup is toxic to earthworms, beneficial insects, birds and mammals, plus it destroys the vegetation on which they depend for food and shelter." A woodcocks diet consist mainly of earthworms. In fact you can tell where they've been by the close-set holes their long beaks poke in the ground as they hunt.

The woodcocks don't need this kind of "help" from the land trust. And J and I don't need man-made signs informing us that they live in the field. We've been listening to them for the past ten years, chirping and singing through the summer nights along with our other beloved neighbors, the frogs.

Flowering Tea...

One of my work tasks this weekend was to begin taking some photos for the new and improved tea section at the apothecary, so I got to bring home one of our new Numi Flowering Tea sets to play with! Like summer in a jar, these are absolutely beautiful, and there are still four more flowers to try.

At some point I'll be posting on the work blog about what I've learned while researching our bulk artisan tea offerings in order to make new and more informative labels for the jars. I've gained a whole new appreciation for tea and the tradition behind it and look forward to sharing a bit of the knowledge I've gained.

Multicolored and Monotone

Some of the contrasting street art I found in Northampton today.