My dad's strong and beautiful spirit left his body on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, with my new sister-in-law Grace at his bedside, ten minutes after receiving the Catholic sacrament of last rights. Was it my mom who came to guide him away from his failing physical body as his brain and lungs forgot their common language? Has he been reunited with his brothers and sisters and his own beloved parents on this sacred weekend? Was it his spirit I heard walking beside me, rustling the leaves as I hiked through the sunlit woods on Saturday, still unaware that he was gone from this place?
J and I were to visit him today, for Christmas. The universe had other plans.
Dementia stole so much from my father, but in the end it could not take his integrity, his deep faith, his polite and gentle nature, his quick smile, or his love for his family. His brain may have forgotten how to keep his physical body alive, and couldn't always remember our names, but his heart still recognized my brother and Grace, J and myself — recognized the bond of our love.
My mom and dad, both gone, so deeply missed. It's more important than ever now to stay in the present, lest the past break my heart.
I thank God for my practice and for the generous gifts the universe has given to me over the course of the past two years, gifts of faith and reassurance, the gift of teachers and friends, the blessing of saints, a new way of looking at things that helps to make some sense of this fragile, painful, beautiful, sacred experience we call life.
Akal, dad. May your soul go swiftly to the creator. Thanks for the memories.
17 comments:
Blessings of Peace and Love to you dear Uma... Christine
I believe his Spirit new why to go on that precise day ... I'm hugging you from across the ocean dear Uma!
Sending you peace and love!
I wish you and your family strength, faith and healing.
May God help you and give you strength.... Keep your beautiful memories!!!
Oh Uma, my heart breaks for you and tears are rolling down my cheeks. I send you all my love and the peace you need to face all this. Hugs to you
Oh, Uma, I am so sorry to read this news. May you find some comfort in sweet memories of your time with your Dad. Be gentle with yourself as you try to get used to the world without him. You and J and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
xoK-
Oh I feel so sad. I'm sorry. To have both parents gone at such a young age (yours). It is a big empty spot for sure or has been for me. I miss both my parents so much still and Dad died in '06 mom in '08. I had no idea.
Blessings and courage to you. Suki
Feeling my own heart splitting open as I read about the transitioning of your father. Holding your heart near to my heart and in my thoughts.
Uma, oh, so intense. Yes, it is good you have your practice to see and feel the grand and amazing patterns of this life. Peace and blessings, may the mystery hold you,
Valerianna
Uma...I don't know what to say here so I will send you an email where I can say more. I am so sorry for this, truly I am.
My thoughts are with you and yours....your dad will always be with you in your heart-peace c
oh yes he walked beside you in the woods...how could he not touch you on his way to heaven
I heard this morning that Steve Jobs last words as he died were...Oh wow,oh wow oh wow
All that he loved that went before him were there to take his spirit to God..this I believe
I send hugs and tears to you Uma
Uma, it would seem that your father left you one last Christmas gift before he departed. Love that ... hugs and much love.
So sorry for your loss, Uma. May your Dad know peace now wherever he his.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have walked in your shoes, and can identify with your sadness. I wish you healing and peace and love as you walk through this time of loss and sorrow. I'm sending you a big hug.
May your heart and your life fill with what your father left to you...his love.
May that bring you peaceful thoughts and comfort in the coming days as your sorrow fills those spaces now...
Oh gosh, so sorry. This just tore me up. Your writing is so beautiful and true. You always snag my heart.
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