Would you believe my oven has this function? I keep pressing it, but...The dog is slurping a little beer out of a bowl J set on the kitchen floor as a treat for her. I'm sitting at the kitchen table where it's warm, poking at the various splinters I acquired while cleaning out some of the gardens today, sipping my nightly shot glass full of Aloe Vera juice and glancing guiltily at my amazon.com cart, open in a new window. I've got a lot of learning to do. In Chants of a Lifetime (which I'm reading now and highly recommend - scroll down to my "On the Shelf" box in the sidebar to check it out) Krishna Das quotes Kabir:
The world passed away reading big tomes. None found enlightenment therein. He who understood the two-and-half letters which embody love (Ram) gained emancipation.
This may be the case, but it won't stop me from pressing the proceed to checkout button.
Before I left for Kripalu I had every intention of signing up for the online Oxford University Hinduism course that starts in late April and runs through July, but I've decided to hold off. Do I want to spend the upcoming warm evenings and sunny weekends of summer spending even more time in front of the computer, when I can sneak off to my hammock between the birches with the words of Ram Das, Bhagavan Das, Ramana Maharshi, and Swami Muktananda instead?
Or take some road trips to visit the various meditation centers and ashrams tucked in the surrounding wooded hills of Western Mass and upstate New York while the weather is pleasant and the days long?
I think learning is up to me again, just like when I was 19. Not to say I won't take that course in the winter when I'm stuck inside anyway. And not to say I won't finally return to school again to finish my degree. But what I've had to ask myself is this — is my desire to return to school about actually going to school, or am I just looking for an acceptable excuse to step out of the 9-5 office world that simutaneously provides me with an income and holds me as a kind of hostage. The two area colleges I had in mind (because of their religion/philosophy programs) each cost over $40,000 a year. And I have at least 2 years left. That's a lot of shopping carts full of books! And yoga classes, and kirtans, and retreats...and experiences. So far, experience has proved itself to be a good teacher. I'm thinking I may want to proceed to checkout, continue to investigate, have a little faith in the process, and see where it leads.
8 comments:
Melanie--Consider this: when I was attending college late in life, my Anthropology professor asked me what I was doing in school. I told him that I had always wanted to get my degree and here I was. He told me that if he was to advise me he would tell me to travel and experience the world and other people--that is all you need to do, he said, to learn about the world. So, basically he was telling me I was wasting my time. I am not a fan of flying, as you know, so for me travel was not a good option. That is why I wanted to attend college. It was close, I could learn new things about the world and myself and I could attain a degree, which for me was very empowering and life-affirming. But...could I have learned all I did just reading or traveling? YOU BET! So, I say to you, you are a smart young woman. You will find your path the way it is intended, and I think that you are headed in the right direction. I am not sure that college is always the answer. I have done zilch with my degree. It was not very expensive for me to attend college either. That probably would have totally changed my mind about it. Sit in that hammock and enjoy life, my friend. Life is WAY too short, believe me!! And, the side benefit is that you can read and learn while you are there.
stop time!
That made me grin so big and chuckle out loud. thank you.
this makes a lot of sense.
especially the hammock part.
you astound me with your reading and hunger and quick, bright mind, deep heart, mindfulness.
I felt like cheering you on after reading this. Right on m.
I love your blog - and the stop time button. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I started studying again a few years ago. And I still have a few years to go. I also started in order to escape my 9 to 5 life. Instead I have a 9 to 9 life now. But it's great. And after this I finally hope to have a job I care for and in which I can care for others. Then again, traveling seems to be a good alternative...
Can't there be many complex and intertwined reasons for returning to school. ? I went to grad school in part to learn new skills (writing)to add some zest to my then quite zestful life, to get an advanced degree (blush, yes that was part of it), for the challenge of doing something new, meeting new people, pushing myself to do new things etc. I never regretted it. Course when I did it it was much cheaper than now.
Nowadays though, I even debate taking art workshops. Often, I can buy a huge number of books on the topic I wish to explore for way less money than a two day workshop costs. Books are how I learned to make paper, to bind books, to do a lot of the craft techniques I do.
On the other hand, workshops are intense and inspiring and fun to interact with others who have the same interest.
So many choices in life!!!
Enjoy that hammock.
Sometimes we do what we do to avoid the 9-5 monotony. Lord knows, it's slow going trying to reestablish my teaching endeavor in a new place, but I will keep at it until the last moment, hoping to avoid the 9-5. Been there, done that, no depth of spirit.
Go ahead, push the button.
push the button
and listen
It sounds like you're doing just fine with learning through experiences. It's more fun to learn that way too! Well, for the most part - bad experiences teach us a lot too.
That made me grin so big and chuckle out loud. thank you.
this makes a lot of sense.
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