I Prefer to Call it a Midlife Opportunity. Part 1: Enthusiasm.

Is it Wednesday already? How did that happen? I keep starting blog posts that don't have a logical end. They loop around and around and around like my thoughts, coming to rest in the drafts folder. A theme unites them, however, and that theme is (here I go again, will this post be doomed to the drafts folder too?) enthusiasm.

Is enthusiasm simply a mindset, something I should learn to carry with me like a handbag wherever I'm going? It's easy to be enthusiastic about kirtan or yoga class, hiking in the woods, visiting with a friend. But what if I'm going to the office and realize I'm no longer overly enthusiastic about my job? Is that a signal for me to work on conjuring more enthusiasm from within, or is it a hint telling me I need to review what I'm doing, to ask myself if my interests have changed or grown. I'm beginning to question the value of what I'm producing compared to what I could potentially produce. Let's face it, our time here is limited. I've recently stared that fact right in the face and lived to tell about it — but not without some battle scars.

Perhaps it's time to admit that I've been shoving some of my interests down for many years now, afraid that they won't (to put it poetically) bear fruit. To put it bluntly, I'm afraid one wrong move will land me back in odd jobville (see interesting fact #2), where I've already been and don't care to return. But "afraid" is certainly not in the list of adjectives I want to use to describe myself.

So the wheels spin, the fingernails get chewed, the blog posts start and stop, and I need to ask questions of myself and you — but bear with me, because first I need to give you a little background information. Luckily the post is half-written.