All is Calm, All is Bright

Thursday morning we paid a visit to St. Patrick's Cathedral on Madison Avenue.

The interior is beyond belief, Gothic arches soaring towards vaulted ceilings, jewel-like stained glass windows glowing far above marble statues and golden altars. 12:00 mass was in progress.

Standing in the back of the church amongst the whirlwind of bundled-up visitors, my brother and I suddenly shared the same thought — to light memorial candles for my mom, whose presence we felt very strongly in these spiritual surroundings. She would have loved visiting St. Patrick's, though I think she would not for a moment have wanted to trade the modest church she attended in Rhode Island for such a grand monument to Catholisism. But she would have appreciated it, nonetheless. Our candles flickered amongst hundreds of other flames.

The way I've come to see it since my mom died (and only since), death comes down to her living on in the spiritual world, while I remain here in the physical. The opportunity to get closer to her (and "bridge the gap" so to speak) is available when I'm willing and able to tap into the spiritual aspects of life. Thus my quest. Thus the chanting, the meditation, the candles lit, the books read, the path re-examined with an open mind and heart.

During my week in NY I begain Deepak Chopra's The Book of Secrets in the hotel room at night, or by the pool in the afternoon (surprisingly, we couldn't get the internet to work there, so I had very little to distract me from reading). Compelled to write The Book of Secrets after the sudden death of his father, Krishan Lal Chopra, Deepak shares the following:

I couldn't escape the feeling that he had completely and utterly disappeared, this man who had been the most loved person in my life and the last one I thought of losing so soon. But the fact that he had passed with such clear, calm awareness kept all of us from feeling the deepest pangs of grief. Although I was certain Krishan Chopra was gone in the form of the body and personality I knew, my emotions couldn't rest until I articulated, in every detail possible, what he had become. The mystery was changing him from one state to another, and I realized that the same transformation is happening in myself and in everyone. We are all held together and we all dissolve according to mystery, nothing else.

The book is dedicated with these words. "To my father. Your graceful life and your graceful death inspired and finally unlocked the hidden dimensions of my life."