Last night I dreamt about my mom. Since she died I haven't been able to remember any of my dreams, and that's been disturbing to me since I'm accustomed to waking up with entertaining memories of them.Once I fall asleep I often find myself at a train station/subway platform, and last night I returned there. My mom was standing on the platform, the only person in sight, looking at me with a serious, calm but somewhat concerned expression. You'd think I'd jump for joy at seeing her, but I actually couldn't believe it was her. She looked to be in her 50's, dressed stylishly in a long skirt, blouse, and cardigan-style sweater, nice jewelry, nothing flashy but pretty and well-composed, as she always was. That woman looks just like my mom I thought to myself, and couldn't stop staring at her. I noted that she even had a small mole and a darkened brown spot on her face, exactly where they should have been. I started to cry and she approached me. "I'm sorry" I said, "but you look just like my mom who just died." She put an arm around me and we sat down on a bench against a wall and talked.
I don't remember exactly what we talked about, but I think I was telling her about my job and life and about losing my mom, as if she were a concerned, motherly stranger. She listened, still with an arm around me, and I think she spoke as well but unfortunately I can't remember what she said.
Yesterday I was dealing with a very stressful situation (which has since been resolved), and it was something I had actually asked for my mom's help with (hopefully I'm not the only one who still talks to people who are no longer alive?). It was perhaps not surprising I'd dream about her at this time, but it was still very intense.
17 comments:
You're not alone. I have had experiences that let me know my husband was sometimes still around. I thought at first it was my longing for him...but then my kids starting sharing their same experiences...and at the time they were just little ones...so I knew not to think it coincidence. It is wonderful that you dreamed of your mom...I'd like to think that in your dreams is where we meet those we've lost and care so deeply for. I wish for you more sweet dreams. Ask for them before you fall asleep.
i think it must be comforting to talk to your mom...i believe she can hear you, even if she's not physically here.
i think of you often M. and send you love. xo
I have only dreamed of my father twice in the year and a half since I lost him, and I still miss him terribly. In both dreams, when I see him, I cry, because I miss him, but he is not sad, and does not acknowledge that he has passed, because in the dreams he is alive. I think about that a lot, how he would not share my sorrow, he just let me hug him and cry, and I guess he was trying to tell me he is not sad, not to be sad, and to live while I am alive, just like he did. I think sometimes I might be disappointing him by mourning him still, and I'm trying to move through it, but it is harder than I imagined.
I talk to him from time to time and some days I feel his presence so fully that it distracts me. It is good you can talk to your mom, especially in times of stress, and that she came to you in your dreams and let you talk to her some more. I too wish you sweet dreams, not sad ones, as we stumble through grief toward acceptance, or whatever the destination might be. Wishing you well.
The conversation never ends. A dozen years later I still think conversations with my Mom and Gram. I did a series of paintings a while back called Bone Prayers. I poured out everything I wanted to say to them - about gratitude - into those paintings. Although the words are covered with paint, I felt tremendous relief from telling them how much they mean to me.
There is a belief, it may be Native American, that each of us dies twice - once upon our physical death and then, finally, when the last person who knew us dies. I think there is something to that.
Sweet dreams M.
About a month after my father died, 3 of my 4 sisters and I all had a dream about him on the same night. All the dreams were similar but I dreamt that he told us that it wasn't too bad, he was fine but it was boring and he wished he'd thought to bring a deck of cards! It was very comforting to me and I never forgot it. When my son died, we had a deck of cards cremated with him to take to his Papa...never alone my friend, never alone! smooches
You're not the only one, for sure. I think your mother appeared for a reason in your dream, and she did send you help to work out the stressful situation.
Beautiful photo and deep post.
what a beautiful dream. I often talk aloud to mom and dad too. just yesterday I asked mom for help. i have dreamed of her only once though since her death. I love to meet up with departed folks in my dreams, they seem so real. Most often I dream of my Gram and I am again in the wonderful house she owned in connecticut. Thanks for sharing this wonderful experience M. YOu write about it so beautifully. Blessings, Suki
PS SOOOOO glad to know abt that book place in Montague as it make Northfield feel more friendly and possible if there is a bookstore nearby.
I think that in this "community" of bloggers you will find that most of us believe in a "connection" with those living AND dead. I certainly do. When my daughter almost died I pulled in every debt that any of them owed me and sometimes I promised my own life in return for saving her. That was over 10 years ago and we are both still here but I know that everyone from the other side helped me (and they still do). I love the theory posited by Leslie about "dying twice". After all, we are still always alive in "this" world as long as someone is still thinking about us. That is why it is important to tell the stories...to keep that person's memory alive. Love to you...
Lucky me to have found you today..I got here through Christina...Oh, how I love her...
Your photographs and writing are so inspiring..beautiful...
I lost my mom 3 years ago to cancer and dream about her almost every night.....
I will be following you....
I'll come back to visit very soon....
Best,
Kary
How beautiful. I've had dreams like this about my mother and my sister. And I always waken feeling loved and comforted. And I'm convinced that they aren't really dreams at all...I believe they are spirit conversations. I'm glad that you are able to talk to your mother too.
No, you're not the only one who talks to people who are no longer alive. I hope you're doing OK.
Fascinating.
And no, you're not the only one. I often ask my deceased dad for strength, advice, etc.
Great post and great blog!!
i often feel a certain level of comfort when i dream of loved ones who have passed on. i am thankful that i see them again, if only in my dreams.
may your dreams bring you the same comfort.
xo
Oh, m.
x
So glad she came to you, sat with you, and put her arm around you. And listened. Of course it was her. Your waking mind was just still too aware to allow it to really BE her. Too raw still, I imagine. But your soul knew it was.
Wow, what thoughtful honest responses to this post. I've told a few people about my dream in person and they've had similar reactions and stories of their own.
Welcome new readers, wonderful to "meet" you here! I apologize for being a little bit slow lately in both posting, responding, and visiting but I am still here and deeply of every visit and comment as I make my way through this grieving/learning process...
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