Quest

Tomorrow I return to work and my regular schedule after almost 2 weeks away from the office. Perhaps the return to routine will be helpful in some way, but I worry about falling back into the hectic grind. Jobs are necessary, my career good, the company I work for generous in addition to being an organization I can feel proud to be a part of. And yet I've enjoyed the time I've had at home to watch the way the light falls through the windows, to curl up and read, to keep rooms tidy, to visit with friends, to be mindful.

I'm determined to make this the year I attempt to peer through the fog and ask some important and oddly difficult questions; Who am I? What do I want? And what's my purpose in this lifetime? With my mom gone, I feel an almost desperate need to focus on the bigger picture.

The word I chose for last year was, fittingly, acceptance. I think I'll make my word for 2010 quest. I'm not entirely sure who or what will guide me, but my mind is open. In these past two weeks I've been voraciously reading and giving lots of thought to the spiritual, philosophical, and creative ideas that have inspired me thus far in life. Tonight I'm venturing out to participate in my first Kirtan (Sanskrit for "to repeat'), which is a group practice of singing ancient mantras that are set to simple melodies. I hadn't heard of this practice before last week, but I'm looking forward to the experience. Here's a video I found on YouTube of a Kirtan in Portland, Oregon...