Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Here in the Hills

Here in the hills my heart is broken. When I open my mouth to speak, tears fall. When I look at any one thing for too long, more come. I knew this would be hard, but nothing could have prepared me for the intensity of the disease, and the corresponding depth of my grief. I don't understand how something that's right in front of me can be so inconceivable, but it is.

I appreciate your comments, emails, thoughts, and prayers. My brother was also touched by them when he caught up with the blog last night. I'll post as I'm able, maybe just photos until we catch up with the details on Five Senses Friday. I've been visiting your blogs, and love seeing what you're doing and creating out there.

22 comments:

Ange said...

I have just caught up with your blog since I have been away... Strangely enough, although we don't know each other, I have tears welling up in my eyes. Proof of a oneness out there? The blog is the 'other' life. Not the real one...
Peace. Love Ange

ohsograteful44 said...

Hi- I don't know you, but I stop here on occasion to see what you are up to. Thank you for the tender honesty of your words and the beautiful images you capture.Sending you hugs and tears that unite us all in spirit.Blessings and Love to you and yours, Christie

Ruth said...

This hurts my heart, your words are so powerful. Hang in there, m.

kristen said...

i'm sorry. and i know what this feels like, a bit too much actually...i'm holding you and yours in my heart today. big love. xo

ina said...

You carry yourself with such powerful grace.

Love and peace to you and your family.

Karen L R said...

Take deep breaths. Look up at the sky. We are all one, and so, we hold you close in our spirits. Especially now....

dinahmow said...

My thoughts are with you, Melanie.
Take courage from all of us who love you.

sukipoet said...

M. this is so sad. I am thinking of you and your family each day and praying for your Mom. Thanks for your pictures and words. Best, suki

Leslie Avon Miller said...

When I read the sympathy cards outloud to my brother as they came in, I cried each time- tears will wash you clean, but for ever you are different. My heart goes out to yours. I know. I know.

Liza said...

Wishing you strength and peace.

Teri said...

Melanie--My heart is broken and tears are falling here too. I feel like Ange does. And everyone else. We all love you, the essence of you, the soul and heart of you because we do not really "know" the person, or do we? I think that we do. You are what your blog is: Thoughtful, loving, caring, honest, sad, curious, on and on. We know the real you by reading your blog and I am so sad for you. Tomorrow marks 2 years since I lost my beloved friend Lela. It makes me so sad to go "back" to that moment when I lost her. She is always with me but I want to hear her laugh, to taste her wonderful food, to joke and just "BE" with her. Someday...

Maggie's garden said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs and love to you

Christina said...

I was riding home tonight on the train. I thought of you and your family.
I send you love. I send your family prayers. Day or night, friend, I am here for you.
xo

Mel said...

I wish I had more to offer than these words, but each person must come to terms with grief on their own, and everyone's journey is unique. You will be surprised how much and how often you can cry, and how random the events and thoughts that trigger tears. Drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated or you will feel parched. Hug the people you love and lean on each other, it helps.
Thinking of you and wishing you and your family peace.

Kamana said...

Hugs to you my friend. Be strong.

Bethany said...

Thinking of you too and didn't even realize it. I remember thinking at some point yesterday I wanted to check in with your blog and see how you were and that somehow led to my dreaming about you last night. How odd. People must be holding you somehow, the way you sometimes hold us with your words, images and wonderful spirit/energy.

Rowena said...

Oh dear m. heart

I hold you in my heart. I'm so sorry for your family's pain and sadness.

Even in this hard time, I send you joy and peace and love.

ELK said...

let the feelings come as they surly will...blessings ELK

Oliag said...

Today, as I was walking my usual path around the pond, tears were streaming down my face...
Yet sometimes I just forget/deny what is going on in my sister's house...There is no "right" way to deal with this thing we share...

My heart goes out to you and your family...

xo Gail

Gigi said...

Thinking of you, my friend. My computer is having a tough time opening certain blogs, so I'm behind, but I just want you to know that you and your family are in my heart.

Gigi

JC said...

I'm so sorry. I hope you all find a measure of peace somehow.

quiltcat said...

Hi Melanie. This is such a difficult thing to go through. Thank goodness you have your brother, J, and probably other friends and family there to share it with. The tears are to be expected, please don't hold them back. My mother passed away in February '08 rather unexpectedly even though she'd had Alzheimers for more than two years...i still think of her every day, but truly, her memory is a blessing and yours will be, too. I hope the beautiful skies of late Autumn will bring you some peace and pleasure in this difficult time.

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